Hi everyone. I really need some help. My husband and I are running out of options fast and at our wits end with our daughter and her toileting issues.
A bit of background info:
Our daughter was a Prem with IUGR and was hospitalised for 6 weeks from birth. Had continuous reflux issues until finally fully changed over to solids at 2yrs old. Has had an aversion to dairy since then. Was forcefully toilet trained at a daycare center which bought on a fear of using one. When her brother was born at 3yrs old she wasn't toilet trained. Not even interested. She then went to a small family daycare where she finally got the idea but was still no where near fully trained. She had always had dry nappies at night until recently. She has started prep as she was intellectually ready and willing. While her teacher and teacher aides are absolutely amazing at helping her she is still having regularly daytime wetting and has started night time wetting too. She was recently diagnosed with a compacted bowel and was treated successfully for that. However she is was never doing bowel movements in the toilet.
We have tried charts, rewards, making her clean it up herself, various diets, withholding water close to bed time, different toilet aids, being angry, being sympathetic, being proud of small triumphs. Nothing is helping. She is still afraid of the toilets in public and at others houses. She won't go to the toilet at school with anyone but her favourite teacher aide or myself. We have a regular routine of trying to go, and she usually will, but still has accidents.
I have approached my GP, we have had ultrasounds done to check voiding (all fine). We have tried putting her in fancy undies she doesn't want to soil, as well as tried pull up nappies at night. She simply holds all of it all day, begs to get ready for bed early, and soils the pull up immediately.
She has no interest in improving. We know she will be picked on at school and I know from personal experience how ruthless and cruel kids can be.
Please. I have PTSD from our children's births and PND. My husband has a short fuse when it comes to protecting his kids and he doesn't want to be that parent that goes into the school firing on all cylinders. We need help. Any advice would be really appreciated. Even your own stories that have not yet been solved may help us with some ideas that may work for her.