Please help... at wits end with my 6yr old boy


Please help... at wits end with my 6yr old boy

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Missute09
Missute09
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Hi everyone, I have a 6yr old son who is an only child and we have managed to create horrible behaviours in him and I need all the help I can get to get us back on track and therefore him. He is currently in kindergarten and doing well. No school based behaviours he is a good boy there... At home, the back chatting is beyond ok. We can not say a thing to him without him speaking back at us. Even writing this it's hard to describe it and what I'm reading doesn't fit the horrible time we r living right now. If we ask him to do something or tell him no (using the word no or not) he will speak back. He refers to us (his parents) as our first names at times and won't budge. If we tell him not to do something I must admit he won't do it but he will just sit there running his mouth off at us (not swear words or anything), rolling his eyes, sometimes it might be as simple as repeatedly saying "meany" or "boring" at everything we say n then doesn't listen. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I are ready to change our behaviour management approach in order to help our little boy. I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and he is suss (IVF after many years and miscarriages so he has attended some appointments with me) but hasn't been informed as yet. We planned to tell him this week but we are scared it will make things harder for him. Behaviour management we have used:- Taking toys off him, rewards chart, no playing with friends, missing out, time in, ignoring and some very unhelpful approaches such as yelling at him.

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21/08/2017 by Moderator
Daniel C
Daniel C
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Hello,
Sympathise very much as we all create behaviors in our kids that we dont desire.
Look up 123 Magic, very powerful for changing behaviours, and also Seven Habits of highly successful families by Stephen Covey
The most powerful thing learnt with 123 Magic is, show no emotion during negative pressure (works well in any life situation), always address admonition calmly but sternly, ignore manipulating behaviour and i will show that it doesnt work anymore.
Show love & tell the child, in a happy moment, of what it will be expected of them when they grow up to be an important person in this challenging world

all the best!



polpak
polpak
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Before you do react, looking at the child count backwards from 10 to 0, preferably quietly to yourself, to make sure you are calm before you actually respond.




Missute09
Missute09
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Thanks for your replies...

We've been working on unpacking the source of the issue to why he is angry at us and seemed to have figured it out.

Things are on the mend.

Thanks for your suggestions they are very helpful.
GO


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