Discussing pornography with teen boys


Discussing pornography with teen boys

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mummy2mum
mummy2mum
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As a pro-active Mum I know my boys (12 & 15 year olds) have had the talk about the birds and the bees, but I was hoping to postpone the pornography talk until they had at least had their first girlfriend! But no, on the way home from school it was my 12 year old who recounted his friends discussing graphic footage that they had seen!

I was caught unprepared for this chat, but knowing the opportunity had to be seized I asked what they knew, and set the tone for an honest, consequence free discussion.

They are curious about what all the fuss is about, and I am certain that I don't want them viewing pornographic material to find out! This leaves me in a position that I need to find valid and logical arguments to dissuade them from watching porn if the opportunity arises.



My arguments went along the following lines:

1. Porn shows an unrealistic view of sex and you don't want to warp your own expectations before you've had any personal experience of real intimacy.

2. Porn can make you feel inadequate because you are measuring (no pun intended) yourself against a fantasy.

3. Lots of porn is unregulated and shows people in harmful, compromising or unpleasant situations

4. Porn sites can often leave your computer insecure and you may get a virus.

I deliberately steered away from any religious arguments as our family values are not founded on any single religious belief.



What do other parents of teens think?

Have you encountered a similar question or situation?

Would you have tackled things differently?

I would be fascinated to hear from parents with teen daughters, does this issue come up for you or is it a boy thing? w00t
babybibsplus
babybibsplus
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I told my boys that porn is disrespectful for both parties. Sex is not something to share with others. It is between two people and should stay that way. It is not to publicized or bragged about. And porn can get you into trouble with your job, the law, and also at school. It can also give you a bad reputation and make people think less of you.
Lindy loo
Lindy loo
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Well done mummy2 mum
Best ideas ever. Also being to cynical can make them want it more babybib. Saying it from an authoritative adult has never stopped young boys viewing porn but at least if you are giving constructive information. They will at least have that at the back of their minds
mumstella
mumstella
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mummy2mum - 10/08/2015
As a pro-active Mum I know my boys (12 & 15 year olds) have had the talk about the birds and the bees, but I was hoping to postpone the pornography talk until they had at least had their first girlfriend! But no, on the way home from school it was my 12 year old who recounted his friends discussing graphic footage that they had seen!
I was caught unprepared for this chat, but knowing the opportunity had to be seized I asked what they knew, and set the tone for an honest, consequence free discussion.
They are curious about what all the fuss is about, and I am certain that I don't want them viewing pornographic material to find out! This leaves me in a position that I need to find valid and logical arguments to dissuade them from watching porn if the opportunity arises.

My arguments went along the following lines:
1. Porn shows an unrealistic view of sex and you don't want to warp your own expectations before you've had any personal experience of real intimacy.
2. Porn can make you feel inadequate because you are measuring (no pun intended) yourself against a fantasy.
3. Lots of porn is unregulated and shows people in harmful, compromising or unpleasant situations
4. Porn sites can often leave your computer insecure and you may get a virus.
I deliberately steered away from any religious arguments as our family values are not founded on any single religious belief.

What do other parents of teens think?
Have you encountered a similar question or situation?
Would you have tackled things differently?
I would be fascinated to hear from parents with teen daughters, does this issue come up for you or is it a boy thing? w00t

This is probably one of the best ways to make them understand the topic. You did a great job! It's also good that you discovered the issue right away. Who knows what might have happened if they heard someone else's explanation about that topic. 
GO


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