Teenage Bedtimes


Teenage Bedtimes

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richseal
richseal
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Our 13 y.o son is addicted to computer games and his smart phone. Seems all his mates are gaming, Skyping, Facebooking and texting each other into the small hours every single night, and we are the only parents who try to enforce a sensible bedtime. He feels we are trying to cut him off from his friends. We feel he's not getting enough sleep - and neither are his friends!



We have an electronics blackout time of 9:30 and lights out at 10:30. This is to try and give time for his crazy hyperactive brain to slow down before sleep. The result is a fight every night, as he has to announce to all his friends on line that he has to go, while they continue into the night.



Are we the only parents who think it's a bad idea for 13 year olds to up past midnight every night? What is a reasonable bedtime for a 13 year old? How much sleep do you think a 13 year old needs?
Mumatutu
Mumatutu
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I have the same issue with my 13yo, but it's Facebook, Instagram, Tumbler, Snapchat and who knows what else! No advice, but you're not alone.
proudmum71
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Our son is 12 and he also uses Kik and Instagram. We have threatened to remove his smartphone/ipod if we catch him using it past 9pm. We also dont allow him to close his bedroom door because this is when he was skyping etc too.

We check the history often and make sure our son is aware what we are doing. We also tell him if he deletes his history on any of his smartphone/ipod or laptop this is also grounds for being grounded from them.

It sounds harsh maybe and I know kids need a bit of privacy but with so much bullying going on these days it is a much to protect your kids as it is to check up on them.

Let him know its because you worry about, not because you are being nosey.

Hope that helps Smile

rlh
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richseal (8/04/2013)
Our 13 y.o son is addicted to computer games and his smart phone. Seems all his mates are gaming, Skyping, Facebooking and texting each other into the small hours every single night, and we are the only parents who try to enforce a sensible bedtime. He feels we are trying to cut him off from his friends. We feel he's not getting enough sleep - and neither are his friends!



We have an electronics blackout time of 9:30 and lights out at 10:30. This is to try and give time for his crazy hyperactive brain to slow down before sleep. The result is a fight every night, as he has to announce to all his friends on line that he has to go, while they continue into the night.



Are we the only parents who think it's a bad idea for 13 year olds to up past midnight every night? What is a reasonable bedtime for a 13 year old? How much sleep do you think a 13 year old needs?




HI Richseal, you are not the only parent although teenagers have a great knack for making you feel that way. Some of his friends may be allowed to stay up as long as they like, but there are probably others with parents who think their kid is asleep and are not aware. I'd advise you to stay strong and not buy into the arguments and 'everyone else'isms. I think the 9.30-10.30 tech-out is totally appropriate for your son's age. If he argues every. single. night. I'd be doing something about that for my sanity - ie a serious chat about how it has to end - that you are NOT changing your mind about this particular rule and if he keeps up the arguing there will need to be consequences.
Ginni0710
Ginni0710
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Hi Frustrated Mums of Teens Not Sleeping,



My husband is a Sleep Paediatrician at Children's Hospital at Westmead.



Teens not sleeping due to electronic media and other reasons is such a common complaint. To such an extent, my husband is now looking to create a more accessible and cost effective solution offering a personalised sleep treatment program online. To create this website he has set up a very quick survey on adolescent sleep behaviour. Would you mind taking it?



For every respondent who completes this survey, we're donating $1 to the Sleep Unit at the Children's Hospital at Westmead to purchase Home Monitoring Equipment for babies at elevated risk of SIDS (ie cot death).



https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/adolescentsleepsurvey



(Just copy & paste the link above)



Thank you so much and I really hope this online service may help in a few months



And please feel very free to email this link to friends who have teenage kids.



Thank you so much



Ginni



MBell65
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Hi everyone,



In my household, we have the same problem. My 15 year old daughter is obsessed with Facebook and Instagram. She's also on it late into the night. We have tried taking her phone away around 9:30 so she can be in bed and asleep by 10. She hated us for it and there has been a constant battle in our home.



I don't know if I would recommend taking electronics away as it has not worked for my family but it might work for you.



Good Luck,



Michelle
mclamber
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Hi, my 12 and 14 year olds are/were also addicted to electronic gadgets - but I think I have a handle on it now!  This is what I did - I confiscated everything for a week (my eldest has a laptop for school - I took it when he walked in the door) - I only allowed computer access for 1 hour homework at the dining room table when I was in the room. We had screaming, crying, yelling, I'm bored, etc, but I stuck with it for one week.   The only gadget I allowed was some super cheap mp3 player/radio I got at Target. And they also have CD players/radios in their rooms which they listen to before they go to sleep at night.

Then I set the parental controls to the highest level so youtube and social networking sights wouldn't work and made some rules - there is no screen time (including TV) after school from Monday to Thursday unless it is homework at the dining room table.  On Friday afternoon after they have done all their chores they can go for it.  Sunday night everything is switched off at 8.00.  They don't have smart phones, so they can text or talk but not play games etc on their phones.  Phones are never allowed in their rooms - I keep the chargers in the living room.

To distract them I get them to help me shop for/cook dinner.  We go to the movies, swimming, play cricket in the backyard  - even catch!  Also they have a hammock each in the backyard and they often go out and hang in the hammock and listen to music or read a book.  

There is always a lot of complaining the first week after the school holidays - but... stick with it!  They will eventually give up.   The down side is that now I can't have screen time either!!!!

babybibsplus
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You are doing the right thing. I work for a high school and kids are falling asleep in class every day due to staying up all night on the internet or texting. I would tell him that its lights out at whatever time you choose and if he doesn't like that then he can give up his phone and internet and games all together. That would be his two chooses.
Birdymum
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Hi
I hope not too late to join the conversation. Unfortunately I do not have any advice as I am one of the struggling mum with this same issues. My 13 y o daughter will not let me touch her phone. She is constantly using her phone from when she wakes up (sometime 5.30am) till she goes to bed (10, 11, 12pm whom knows). Constantly checking I nstagram and snapchat and others. Tried to take her phone away but end up with big fight, yelling and no way I can get it off her. Her study getting worse. She will never help around unless she want to get something then she will be nice and sweet. I don't know what to do. This started when she started high school last year. There are so much freedom in high school, a lot of stuff parents no longer know about what is going on at school. I feel I have less say I her life as she will not tell me a lot about school. I am thinking seeking professional help but afraid she will not participate.
Stu Schaefer
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Hey... I had the same problem and found a solution... Here's what I did...

1. Our family collectively made a rule that all electronic devices went downstairs before bed... there's simply no reason to have them while you sleep... none.
2. The kids were given two choices: A. Put your electronic devices downstairs and get a good night's sleep or... B. Pay a "rental fee" from allowance, and face the consequences of sleep deprivation and early-morning (6 a.m.) chores on the weekend.
3. We never got mad at them, but we did enforce the expectations and consequences
4. In two weeks, they decided to get a good night's sleep.

Note:  We were very loving and friendly... especially when we enforced the rules and consequences... the list above seems a bit cold, but we talked to the kids and explained why and made sure they knew how much we loved them Smile

Let us know what you decide and how it goes!


Stu Schaefer
VP - PrepareMyKid.com
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