- Suitable for 3-42Months
Getting help with settling babies
Children’s sleep problems are one of the most common reasons for parents to seek help from professionals. Your child's sleep problems will be much easier to manage with the support of a trusted child health professional.
Caring for a baby becomes even more demanding when you feel exhausted and frustrated from lack of sleep. If our information on baby sleep hasn’t quite worked for your child, and you don’t know what to do next, speaking to a professional will help and will increase your likelihood of success.
Who can help you
There are many child health professionals who can assist you with children’s sleeping problems. You can talk to your maternal and child health nurse, your GP or a paediatrician. Some child and family psychologists can also help with children’s sleep problems.
To begin, a professional will talk with you to understand both the problem and your individual needs. He or she will ask you about your baby, the history of the problem and what you have tried so far. A good professional always finds out what your goals are for your child and what you want to achieve.
The professional will then work with you to develop and put in place a sleep plan. A good plan will address night feeding (if that’s still an issue), phasing out old bedtime habits, creating positive bedtime routines, and providing settling strategies. A good sleep plan also includes a contingency plan: what will you do if things don’t seem to be working?
The settling techniques provided might appear to cause your baby some distress at first. This will pass. If you can stick with the techniques, before too long you will have a far more rested, contented baby and you will feel better too.
Where you can get help
Maternal and child health centres
For many parents, the local infant health centre is the place to start. Your maternal and child health nurse can give you information and advice on managing sleeping and other problems. For more information see Services and Support.
Parent help lines
A range of telephone advice lines around Australia offer help – some specialise in babies and young children, and some are available after hours when the pressure is really on. An advice line can provide ideas and suggestions about what you can do, as well as more information about where help is available in your local area.
Early parenting centres
Early parenting centres – sometimes referred to as ‘sleep schools’ – provide a range of supports to parents of young children. However, an early parenting centre is not a ‘school’ for babies, it’s a place where parents can get help to manage their baby’s sleep better. And they can offer more than that, supporting parents with advice on a whole range of infant and baby issues and providing personal support to parents.
Staff at early parenting centres understand what you and your baby are going through. They are used to dealing with all kinds of feeding and settling problems, and can help you and your family to get things back on track. Different centres operate slightly differently, but their philosophies are pretty much the same. They will help you develop an approach to ensure your baby spends more time sleeping and less time crying.
To find an early parenting centre, see the list below.
When you call a centre, someone will speak to you about your needs and let you know what they can offer. This may be:
- on-the-spot advice
- referral to a parent education session
- a day-stay program
- a residential program.
If you go into a residential program you will be assigned a family unit with comfortable beds, a cot and all the facilities you will need during your stay, including in-house support.
Most government parenting centres are free, as the cost is covered by Medicare. There may be charges for incidentals such as nappy wash services and meals. Private centres offer the same service. Your maternal and child health centre will be able to give you more information.
Back at home
Whether you use a parent advice line, visit a maternal or child health centre, or attend an early parenting centre, you will soon be back at home trying the strategies you have learned.
Keep in mind that it takes time for new routines to become established. Resist the temptation to give up or change things too early. Agree with the professional on how long you will try something before deciding that it's not working and trying something else. To the best of your ability, stick to what you and the professional decided will work best for your baby, even if it seems hard.
Don't be too surprised if your baby temporarily returns to old habits at some time in the process. If you are consistent with the new approaches you have learned, you will soon have your baby in a steady, settled routine.
It can help to have any suggested strategies in writing. Reading them will remind you of what needs to be done. When things are not working, you can double-check to see if you are following the strategies correctly.
It can also help to have back-up when you get home. Find out who you can contact for help or emotional support. Most early parenting centres, for example, provide a telephone number for follow-up concerns and have staff who can talk you through the worst of it.
One family’s story
Max’s mum and dad, Ingrid and Jonathan, told the child health nurse about the difficulties they were having settling Max to sleep. Ingrid was close to tears and told the nurse she was at her wit's end because Max would wake up about five times a night and only cat-nap for 20 minutes a couple of times during the day. He always seemed irritable and she couldn’t get anything done. Settling him to sleep was difficult and usually it had to be with a breastfeed. Jonathan said he felt powerless because breastfeeding appeared to be the only thing you could do to get Max to sleep.
The nurse explained that these issues are common. She gave them the phone number of the local parenting centre, and Ingrid called them that same afternoon. She talked to an intake worker about the issues. Max had been unsettled since he was three weeks old, and he was now nearing six months. The intake worker suggested the residential program. This would involve the whole family staying up to five days at the centre.
Jonathan was supportive of Ingrid, but thought that his employer might not approve his leave at short notice. When he approached his manager, however, he was pleasantly surprised by the support he received.
Five weeks later, Ingrid, Jonathan and Max were admitted to the program. There they learnt that Max was probably overtired and needed to learn to settle himself to sleep. The staff helped Ingrid and Jonathan develop a plan which they thought would work for them when they got back home. As the plan did not involve giving breastfeeds to help Max sleep, Jonathan also had to learn how to settle Max. This meant Ingrid could have breaks and they both agreed to give it a try.
During their stay at the centre, Jonathan and Ingrid attended group discussion sessions. They were relieved to find that other couples were having similar issues, and that they weren’t being judged as incompetent parents.
On the third night, Max was showing signs of getting into good sleep patterns, and the centre staff suggested that Ingrid and Jonathan have a couple of hours out alone. They went out to a local restaurant for dinner. For the first time, both Ingrid and Jonathan were comfortable talking about how they had felt. Ingrid said that she had been feeling incompetent and avoided meeting with other mothers from mothers' groups because she could not settle her baby like they could – ‘they just seemed to be so much more in control!’ Jonathan, on the other hand, said he had felt helpless and isolated, as if suddenly he was an outsider in his own family. Now that he had learnt some settling techniques he no longer felt helpless and thought that he would develop a better relationship with Max now he was no longer feeling resentful.
On their final night at the centre, Max stirred once in his sleep. Jonathan offered to settle him on his own and was surprised at how soon he was able to do so. The centre staff observed, but did not need to interfere.
Ingrid and Jonathan left the centre feeling apprehensive about keeping to the routines at home but, given what they had to gain, they both agreed to give them a good try. The centre staff reassured them that they were only a phone call away should they need extra support.
Early Parenting Centres | ||
| State | Organisation | Phone Contact |
|---|---|---|
| NSW | Tresillian Family Care Centres | (02) 9787 0855 (Sydney) 1800 637 357 (outside Sydney) |
Karitane Residential Unit | 1300 227 464 (02) 9794 1800 | |
| ACT | Queen Elizabeth II Family Centre | (02) 6207 9977 |
| Vic | O’Connell Family Centre | (03) 8416 7600 |
| Queen Elizabeth Centre | (03) 9549 2777 | |
| Tweddle Child and Family Services | (03) 9689 1577 | |
| Qld | Riverton Early Parenting Centre | (07) 3860 7111 |
| SA | Torrens House | (08) 8303 1530 |
| Children, Youth and Women's Health Service | (08) 8161 6003 | |
| The Parenting Centre | (08) 8303 1566 | |
| WA | Ngala Family Resource Centre | (08) 9368 9368 |
| Tas | Parenting Centre, Hobart | (03) 6233 2700 |
| Walker House Parenting Centre, Launceston | (03) 6326 6188 | |
| Parenting Centre, Burnie | (03) 6434 6201 | |
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- Last reviewed08-05-2006
